New Year: ‘it’s you that I adore, you will always be my whore’ – smashing pumpkins

I sat there in front of the television watching the year come to a close.  ‘Out with the old,’ the year came passing, ‘in the with the new,’ the year trudged forward.  And I sat there, thinking about all that had been…all that was to come, as every second went ticking away. Ten.

Change – it’s the only constant thing in life.  Sometimes, we don’t want it to come.  Sometimes, we do want it to come.  Sometimes, we need it, but regardless of our desires, it’s the inevitable ‘next moment,’ and perhaps, there can be comfort in the idea that change…is a part of some unstoppable plan.  Nine.

It had not been a good year.  It had not necessarily been a bad year either, but it had been a hard year, and I was ready for it to end.  Eight.

She sat there with eyes closed, holding on to her large, soft pillow, and with eyes closed, she lay uncaring of this year or the next.  Her cares fixed on what she held.  Seven.

As she lay there, I couldn’t help but wonder – it’s almost as if we always need something to hold on to, as though our own bodies were made for that.  It’s as if we are forever conditioned and meant to have…to hold on…to something.  Six.

Or someone.  Five.

Turning from the television and smiling at her, I wrapped my arms around her, ready to seek refuge and hold her safely as the year passed.  I reached my hands around, to find hers, and silenced the televisions parading and cheers.  Those were the sounds of their world, their fleeting world.  My world was the sound of her breathing and the sound of her heart.  Four.

I didn’t know what this year would bring, but I knew what last year had brought, and I knew that through pains and struggles and hardships and heartaches and tears and sweat and blood and tensions and hurts and anything that wasn’t right…this year…I would be there for her.  This year, I would do what I was doing right now.  I would hold her.  As long as I could.  As long as she needed me to. Three.

Whatever this year could bring, we could see each other through it together.  Two.

I looked at her longingly now, and placed a kiss upon her lip, holding it as this year ended and the new one began, letting our kiss pass between years.  One.

‘Happy New Year!!’  Yes, happy new year, indeed.  Happy, we could be together.

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