WordPress does this thing where they tell you what people were searching for in Google or Bing or whatever search engine they used when they came across your blog. Not surprisingly, a large number of people who ended up at my blog got here by typing “phil morocco” or “philip peace corps” or something similar. I won’t give away what all the search items were, but a few of them are hilarious. So, here’s a fun little list of some of my favorite searches that brought you, the readers, to this blog:
– “Mark Zuckerberg in Morocco:” Dear Mark, you’ve brought more people to my blog than I did. Apparently, your one trip to this beloved country during my two-year stint here had people looking for you, but they found me instead. Thanks, buddy.
– “Maria Mayo:” six people googled you, Maria, and all six of them found me. …although, something tells me that it’s entirely possible all six of those searches were yours.
– “10 things I wish I had in Morocco:” I hope you found all ten of them, whoever you were, and something tells me, I bet I wish I had those things too.
– “Eeyore costume:” Because, hey, where else on the internet would you find someone dressing up like Eeyore?
– “Moroccan adoption gone bad:” Whoever searched this one searched for it three times. I’m still not sure what this means exactly. Maybe they were looking to send a bad kid back to Morocco, you know, like that one mother who decided she didn’t want her adopted Russian son.
– “Why do people do revolution:” No, really, why do people do revolution? It’s a good question, and I wonder if they got that question answered on my blog?
– “Islam board game:” What a great idea. You could have five pillars and organize it a little like Pachisi, a Moroccan favorite.
– “Merry Christmas in Moroccan:” I wonder if some Moroccan was looking for a way to say “Merry Christmas” to some American in Arabic. Eid Masihi Saiid, or something like that.
– “Eeyore tea set:” Because it wasn’t enough to come across my blog just looking for Eeyore. Anyway, that’d be an awesome tea set, except the handles would all go missing all the time, and you’d have to pin them back on. “Oh, well…”
– “CIA use of peace corps as cover Morocco:” Please. If I had the skill-set to work for the CIA, I’d be in a country where there was actually information to collect. The CIA would be bored to tears here. How many times do I have to say it: I am not a missionary; I do not work for the CIA. I’m part of a volunteer organization that’s an off-shoot of the United States Government and focuses primarily on technical assistance and cultural exchange. Get that through your thick skull, Khalid. …sorry.
– “Bigotry in Greenwood, Indiana:” NEVER! There could never be bigotry in Greenwood! God forbid!
– “Why a well-made pair of glasses has no memory:” Oooh, oooh! I got it. I got it! Over here. Because glasses don’t think? Unless of course this person was referring to a memory card, in which cases Google Goggles might be more what they were looking for.
– “Chicken sacrifice religion:” Sign me up! Do we get to eat it too?
– “My dream city in Morocco because it’s very beautiful:” Yeah, except not a city but a country….
– “How many kids does Eminem have:” Seriously? Did I ever mention Eminem on my blog? I don’t recall that at all. This one just baffles me.
– “Sailboat from the Bible:” You know, the one where Jesus and Paul put on their board shorts and boat shoes and hoisted the sail. And then a whale ate them and spit them back up at the yacht club.
– “Orphan elephant smiling South Africa:” #stuffwhitepeoplelike
– “Being white in Morocco:” “Ya’ll don’t know what it’s like bein’ male, middle-class and white!” Sing it, Ben.
– “Your English friend wants to know more about cultural event in morocco. Write an email to him describing a Moroccan cultural events:” Ghrachech! Cheater! I know exactly which page of the Moroccan English text this question came from. Poor kid wanted homework help and thought the internet would help.
– “Light Pollution world mad:” Srsly bro. You just can’t see the stars like ya used to could.
Hope you enjoyed those search terms as much as I did!
Edit: To whomever thought it would be funny to type “philip is an [insert expletive here] morocco blog” after I posted this blog, I gotta hand it to ya – you’re right. That was pretty funny.