America believes, perhaps because of our history, that freedom is our most cherished quality. Maybe because of violent beginnings, our independence has long been interpreted to mean “freedom from tyranny,” as opposed to “freedom from want.” That is, when we obsess over the need to be free, we assume ourselves victims of some fast-approaching enemy […]
Author: p.w.eubanks
I came from New Jersey.
But ended up in Tennessee.
I left for Indiana.
And ran off to the Scottish highlands for a wee bit.
Before I went back to Tennessee.
From there on to Israel.
And eventually Morocco.
Followed by a little stint in Tennessee again.
And Missouri.
Until I finally came to New York City.
By way of Shelter Island ferry.
And now at best I think I'm
Where I belong.
With my feet on the ground.
Planted and ready for whatever's next.
One Month in Quarantine
A long while ago, in what now feels like another life, I was a painter–acrylics on canvas. I took it seriously enough that my portfolio at one point won me a $50,000 visual arts fellowship. I was, however, a terrible student of art. Something about being “assigned” an art project or having to work with […]
Quarantine, Day 27
My N-99 masks came–two of them with filters on the mask. They are black and make me look like Bane from the Batman series. To be honest, I’d feel guilty for having ordered them, knowing in hindsight they could’ve gone to someone in a hospital, except I ordered them back in February, before anyone was […]
Quarantine, Day 25
My dad used to drive this black pick-up truck with a red velvet interior. It’s maybe one of the first vehicles I can remember from our childhood. The interior smelled like his tobacco that he used for his pipe. He would tape a calendar and other notes to the dash, and rumbling noises from the […]
The Lie of the ‘Great American Resurrection’
Last week when Trump said he wanted the country “open by Easter,” a Fox News anchor referred to it as the “great American resurrection.” The reference to the Easter tradition, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, is an obvious attempt to signal to Trump’s evangelical base that this president really is a person of faith, a […]
From Quarantine to the Cemetery
Taking daily strolls in the cemetery, because it’s the closest thing to me that resembles a park, has become a pastime of sorts during this quarantine. In some ways, it’s more sacred to me than stepping into a house of worship. The names and numbers and epitaphs tell so many stories, while simultaneously leaving much […]
Quarantine, Day 18
I heard someone today reference the Church as one of the reasons the Black Death was able to kill off somewhere between 40% to 80% of Europe during the 14th century. When I started digging more into that claim, I had some trouble verifying it. The claim hinged on the belief that people packed themselves […]
Quarantine, Day 15
It feels like everyone I know right now has just enough of a sore throat to wonder. We just found out a day ago that we’re now one and two degrees away from fellow colleagues who have tested positive for covid-19. The creeping dread follows that knowledge. I check my temperature often. I shake off […]
Quarantine, Day 13
Right after I returned from twenty-seven months of Peace Corps service, the next three years were absolute mental hell. I had actually returned by boat, leaving from Barcelona and landing in Fort Lauderdale, and maybe it’s because of the sea legs I couldn’t shake for nearly a month, but I began to believe in the […]
Quarantine, Day 12
I woke up at 3:00 am choking and sweating and generally in a state of panic. I got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom feeling like I might vomit, repeatedly whispering to myself, “It’s just anxiety, it’s just anxiety, it’s just anxiety.“ The operative word, of course, is “just,” as if anxiety […]
